My running shoes and I have had a checkered past. For years they stared at me from my closet, in pristine condition, eager to let their hot pink glory shine pounding the pavement. Each time I stared back and chose another pair of shoes instead, telling myself “I’m not a runner. My breath is too shaky, too winded. I've tried that. Didn't work out.” Yet, with a leap of faith and a little bit of willingness this story has been rewritten into a love story: A love story about a sport and a cause.
How did this happen? This fall I signed up for a teacher training course in Kundalini Yoga. We meet for one weekend once a month and the commitment has been one felt by my entire family as my husband and two girls (ages 3 and 5) are left to their own devices while I spend some fairly intense weekends away. A few weekends ago, I was in the midst of a 31-minute meditation in which we are instructed to hold our arms up over our heads for the duration. It was in this awkward posture that inspiration dawned. As I held my arms up at minute 29, I suddenly realized that I had gone through the mental hurdles of a long run! Here’s the rundown.
Minute 1: I am going to hold my arms up for how long?
Minute 5: You¹ve got to be kidding me. I wonder what the girls are doing?
Minute 10: My arms are feeling it. Why did I sign up for teacher training? Deep breaths.
Minute 15: I wonder how the rest of the group is doing? I shouldn’t open my eyes.
Minute 16: I opened my eyes. Just a peek. Everyone still has their arms up. Are they thinking what I am thinking? Ugh.
Minute 20: Hey? This isn¹t so bad. I¹m keeping up! Deep breaths.
Minute 25: I could hold my arms up here forever!
Minute 28: I AM UNCONQUERABLE!
Minute 29: Hey, these thoughts are similar to those I used to have on those long runs. Weird.
Minute 30: Could I be a runner?
Minute 31: YES! Arms down.
Driving home that evening, I revisited this idea. Could I be a runner? The idea no longer seemed so strange. It actually seemed to fit. That night, I checked out the Every Mother Counts website and noticed they were organizing a team for the New York City NYRR 1/2 Marathon in March. I immediately e-mailed EMC to sign up before I could talk myself out of it.
See, that's how inspiration works. With the slightest nudge, you take a leap! That night I became a runner. And I never tell myself differently. My times are slow, yet every week I am getting faster. The first mile is always the toughest, but that’s where Every Mother Counts comes in. EMC provides the inspiration to lace up my hot pink running shoes, step into the cold and just start running, regardless of my initial discomfort. EMC keeps me running for that first mile because I am not running for myself. I am running for others and I am running with others. I am running with everyone from Central Park to Seattle, beyond and in-between, who are running in solidarity for mothers - all mothers.
With each step, I am putting my heart and my breath behind my dollars. This is what keeps me going. This is what keeps me running and sticking to my training schedule every single day. With the first step, I remember this community that puts their hearts behind their miles and this carries me forward. This gives me wings. And by mile two I find myself.
